Rethinking is life-threatening
Why you shouldn't rethink everything
Two colleagues are talking to each other in the hallway. Your boss is postponing the scheduled meeting with you. And a good friend hasn't contacted you for two weeks ... At first glance, none of these are great things. But that changes once you start doing that to rethink everything: Are the two colleagues gossiping behind your back? Is the boss dissatisfied with your work? And is the friend angry with you? You can see where this is going. Brooding regularly feeds doubts. And rethinking things - over and over again - creates the wildest speculation. What you can do about it ...
Who is particularly prone to rethinking everything?
Everyone has probably found themselves doing it at some point Broken head over something Has. Sometimes for a good reason, but sometimes also with the most unnecessary little things.
In these situations the brain seems to make itself independent. Doubts germinate and that Thought carousel drives extra laps. With increasing pace.
How often we rethink things ultimately depends on ours personality from. Some people have a particularly strong tendency to worry about everything. Especially this one two types these include:
For example, those who have poor self-confidence tend to relate a lot to themselves: something doesn't work? Sure, I'm a failure too! Someone is criticizing you? No wonder, nobody likes me! In short: every criticism, every mishap is immediately assessed as an attack - and scratches the already suffering ego even more.
Instead of addressing a situation and eliminating it, shy people prefer to deal with themselves. Unfortunately, however, your own thoughts leave a lot of room for interpretation.
Both attitudes are ultimately learned behavior patterns. They are also dangerous. But - and this is the good news: what you have learned can also be unlearned again. So work off. We'll get to that in a moment ...
4 reasons why you shouldn't reconsider everything
When we think about seemingly simple situations endlessly, our thoughts easily get astray, which have as much to do with reality as marching music does with amusement. The result, in most cases, is: you feel worse than before. And mosquitoes mutate into elephants.
To save yourself from such a downward spiral, you should keep repeating yourself make awarewhy you shouldn't rethink everything and constantly. You probably already know a lot. But it is the same as always: if you do not regularly make yourself aware of it, we tend to forget it.
Therefore, therefore and therefore: 4 reasonswhy constant reconsideration is not worthwhile ...
You are only guessing.
When you worry about the behavior of colleagues or bosses, you are ultimately only guessing. In fact, you have no idea whether behavior was really meant as you are currently interpreting it. These guesses are the biggest problem and the main reason you shouldn't think about everything: one guess leads quickly to the next. You have already spun a story that has nothing to do with reality. Instead, stick to the facts. If you don't know them, ask!
You are assuming the worst-case scenario.
Have you ever thought to two colleagues whispering in the office corridor: Perhaps you are currently praising my new hairstyle, but you don't dare to say it directly? Hardly likely. When rethinking, the worst-case scenario is almost always assumed. There could also be a positive twist behind this. If you are brooding, at least think of both alternatives! Especially the positive ones.
You are wrong more often than right.
Now, please think back to all the times you have made such assumptions. How many times have you been correct in your assessment? Just. Unless you're a true clairvoyant, you were mostly wrong. Like all of us. Because firstly it turns out differently and secondly than you think! Strictly speaking, there is no point in indulging in your own speculations for hours or even days. It does not make you any more correct. Better save this lifetime.
You're getting on your own nerves.
That sounds tough, but it hits the head very well: What do you think of colleagues or acquaintances who are constantly nagging, about nonsenseers and eternal pessimists? Exactly: they are annoying. You do the same with yourself. Effect: You not only get annoyed, you find yourself more and more obnoxious. And that is pure self-sabotage. The only way to counter this kind of uncertainty is to consciously stop the carousel of thoughts and force yourself to stop. Often times, you can do this by creating a distraction and forcing your brain to do something else.
How you manage not to rethink everything
You know yourself best and therefore also know in which situations you tend to overthink everything particularly easily. Up to this point you also know why it is not worthwhile to reconsider things over and over again. What you (maybe) don't know yet is: How do you stop the brooding?
For this three simple tipsin order to be able to give up unnecessary rethinking:
- Create facts. Don't get lost in wild guesswork, just ask.
- Stay positive. It's not always about you. And it's not all bad either.
- Leave it alone. You can't control everything, so don't even try.
What other readers have read
Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.
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