Why is friendliness underestimated

More success through friendliness? How a smile takes you further!

Blue elbows are important to your success. You have to fight, overtake competitors, constantly optimize yourself and always put on a determined face. Everyone needs to see that you are a bolt of success. Woe to no one hides from your thunder. Then it crashes. Numbers matter - not feelings. Results before emotions? Everything gets faster, goes higher and wants to go further. Time is getting scarcer. So close that hardly a second remains to smile. Where are the heartfelt thoughts? What happened to the friendly faces? Is it even possible to succeed through friendliness? The following quote got me thinking in the last few days:

Friendliness is the completely underrated habit of success.

And after this week I know where a large part of my success lies. I'm not the tough “business type”. Tobias Beck would call him a shark. (smile) I don't have blue elbows and I put my determined face on the way to the toilet as much as possible when I notice that it is getting tight. I am friendly, warm and successful - does that even fit together? In this article I want to describe my thoughts on kindness and show you why it makes you successful.

By the way: If you've read this far and the topic interests you, then be sure to take a look at the book The rickshaw driver who gives away happiness * at. The work is not only one of the books with the best ratings, but will change your life and thinking (even more) for the better. Click here* to get an excerpt from the book. If you like it, then read it or give it away as a gift. Back to friendliness ...

What does be kind mean?

While kindness is such a pleasant quality, it is difficult to put into words. Wikipedia writes about it. We refer to them in common parlance and social psychology as appreciative, respectful and benevolent behavior of a person. However, it also describes the inner benevolent inclination towards one's social environment.

From my point of view, the power that friendliness can develop is underestimated. With simple things like a THANK YOU can often get further than with a determined, concrete face. And that is exactly an important point. In the moment when you show that you have feelings and mean well ... many things can work out better. I would like to describe this to you using an example that was some time ago. I can still remember that very well. I don't want to describe it in too much detail - not that the officer gets in trouble. (smile)

I'm sitting in the waiting room of a government agency. Another man had already come before me. After me there were a few other people. Already in the waiting room he cursed the officers, waiting times and the fact that they work more slowly like a snail. When he was called, I heard him puffing as he closed the door: "That took a long time." A short time later he was finished and just scolding. He complained that he had to come back and that he needed an appointment. When it was my turn, I walked into the room in a positive and friendly manner. And yes - the officer was not in a very good mood. My predecessor may still reverberate.

I was friendly, accommodating, honest and empathic. The way I am. “I can imagine that sometimes it is not that easy to deal with so many complex cases. If I can support you with my case or if you need anything, please let me know. "

So in the spirit of one of my sentences.

I didn't complain, I was grateful that someone would take care of my concerns.

The clerk noticed this. The result was a friendly one: "You know what ... we'll finish everything right away. Then you don't have to come again. You simply bring the XY proof with you to the final negotiation. ". I think the officer shouldn't have done that and that my predecessor didn't get it. Why? Because he was rude.

This simple case shows that you can achieve more with kindness (than complaining). It can even be contagious. This is shown by the friendliness diagram (which I just made up).

The optimal state, of course, is when both are friendly. You and your counterpart will get along well and look for innovations, WIN-WIN situations and successful degrees together. Negotiations and meetings don't drag on unnecessarily.

At the yellow arrow, friendliness and unfriendliness meet. Both influence each other. For example, I can infect the other person with my friendliness, as in my experience with the officer. Of course, the unfriendly can also withdraw the friendliness from the good.

This is why it is important that friendly people never “give up” in order to make their way on other brushes.

If both are unfriendly, it becomes very exhausting. If there is a lack of recognition, respect and benevolence, then failure is inevitable. In the end, I recommend that you live these three principles of kindness. Test yourself and see that the results will get better and you will achieve your goals more elegantly and with fewer bruises.


It is important for you to recognize the current situation. Rebelling against it (loudly) will not get you any further, at most your blood pressure will go up. If the service at the checkout is not the fastest of its kind, you will hardly make it faster (no matter how you react). Acknowledge people as they are, accept everything that cannot be changed and thereby find a balance. Doesn't she deserve a smile ... just because she is slower? Incidentally, this balance makes you outwardly calmer, which also has a positive effect on other people.


Everyone deserves it - the respect. Even if it is a contemporary with whom you are not in a wavy line. He deserves to be greeted as much as anyone else. Thank you and punctuality shouldn't be missing. Only when you treat people with respect can you expect the same response. In my professional career I actually had employees who didn't even greet their colleagues just because they were very different types of people. Bad.


The most difficult principle is benevolence. Wishing the other well is an example. Benevolence is about selfless actions towards other people with the aim of bringing about well-being and joy. For me, this simply means not being concerned about your own advantages first, but first of all to research how I can do something good for others. I make advance payments, so to speak, and the result may be that afterwards your own advantage is greateras if he were forced with blue elbows.

All three principles develop an undreamt-of power if you don't have to pretend for them. Authentic recognition, real respect and serious benevolence put you in a positive position that your counterpart mostly appreciates. This kind of positivity is contagious. So in the end the question arises:

Does it work - more success through friendliness?

I answer the question with YES. Not just because I consider myself one of these people. My best buddy is one of the friendliest people I know. His recognition, respect and benevolence not only ensure that he is a thoroughly valued person, but also very successful. And he wouldn't be (for so long) if his face had been burned with the unemotional determination.


It can be argued that friendliness is superior to hard business thinking, but in the end, authentic friendliness can ensure that you not only get better results, but also that you can fall asleep much better. Your own friendliness also makes you happier. It is definitely like that with me. Being successful and being able to sleep soundly - a great combination, right?

Just give it a try and write a comment if it works or if you have already had good experiences.

With best regards


About the author:

Over 700,000 visitors have visited this blog in the last 4 years and accompanied me on my way to personal and financial freedom. Despite a simple employment relationship, I manage to get myself a regular monthly (passive) Additional income between 1,000 and 2,000 euros to build up. Clever INVEST, excited TO BLOGand always a look in the direction PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT... these are my tools and at the same time the topics on this blog. Find out here how I went from being a simple farmer to an investor and send me a messageif you want to get in touch with me.

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