Why is dating difficult for nice people
Searching for a partner over 50: This is what women must pay attention to when looking for a partner
Women over 50 have a hard time dating online.We asked a relationship expert why that is and what mistakes to avoid when looking for a partner.
Online dating raises hope. But how likely is it to fall in love with the help of a flirt platform? "If you don't go out much anymore, your friends are all already couples and you have had a job for a long time, looking for a partner on the Internet probably holds the best chances," explains singles expert Eric Hegmann. "Because it takes a lot of contacts to find the right partner."
Gender-specific differences when looking for a partner
But why do women often find it difficult to find someone? Are men in short supply in the online world? "No", knows the coach of the online dating agency Parship. "There is a slight surplus of women in the binding search for a partner." But it will be difficult due to the various interests.
Men prefer young women, but rarely want families
More and more young women write to older men in addition to their peers. Since many men prefer to be approached by younger women, the number of possible candidates for older women is shrinking.
But that doesn't mean that younger women automatically have better chances. They are often contacted by men. The difficulty, however, is that women in their 30s are often looking for a father for their or future children, but many men do not want to commit themselves tightly. The younger you are, the freer you want to be.
Do you want to talk about having children right away?
Disclosing the desire to have children on the first date is generally not a good idea, says Hegmann: "The first date is only there to find out whether there will be a second. Life planning is far too early for that. The man does not apply for a job a job with you. If he has the impression that it is mainly about the child and not about him, he will not stay. "
Expectations that are too high reduce the choice
Young academics in particular have a hard time, as the expert knows. The reason: "There are more and more well-educated women who only want a partner at eye level or above. But the market for such dream princes is getting smaller and smaller, as more and more women have better training."
But not only the desire for the same level of education can make the search difficult. Expectations that are too high also reduce the chances. According to Hegmann, young women have to free themselves from wanting to find the perfect partner. "That is unrealistic. No partner can be perfect for every aspect of life. There are always a few wishes left unanswered," he emphasizes.
The sparks don't have to fly off right away
Even if everything doesn't fit one hundred percent, you should still give the contact a chance and meet again: "Almost all long-term couples say they didn't fall in love at first sight," explains Hegmann, who not only advises singles but also couples. The so-called love at first sight is in most cases more of a sexual attraction.
50-year-olds know what they want - but that doesn't make it any easier
While women around 30 are looking for their dream prince, 50-year-olds have usually already learned that there is no such thing. This doesn't make the search any easier. Because of their experiences, they usually know exactly what they want and what they no longer want to experience. Many are no longer willing to compromise. The choice of potential partners is shrinking.
Older women need not be afraid of younger men
It can therefore offer opportunities for older women if they abandon their fear of younger men. "You should also keep an eye out for younger men," advises Hegmann. "Although some statistics say that relationships with an age difference of over ten years don't last that long, they obviously don't take modern role models and relationship models into account. When you're in love, age is irrelevant."
Don't wait for the man to come
The expert encourages you to be more active yourself: "Men at 50 get as many cover letters as women under 30. Don't give up too quickly, because you simply have to make a lot of contacts before you not only find someone you like, but also someone who then also likes you. That doesn't happen with one, two or three meetings. "
The profile picture as an important business card
It is important that you appear friendly and optimistic towards your counterpart. This is not only important for correspondence. It is often worthwhile to take another critical look at your own profile picture. "You should come across as personable in the photo. That works best with a smile. Many photographers' pictures are perfectly lit, but appear cramped," says Hegmann from experience.
Stay away from too much image editing and animal photos
He advises against too much art and image processing. That could quickly seem hard-working and self-indulgent. You should also be careful with pictures with your own pet: "Animals in pictures unconsciously always arouse jealousy, especially those that are wildly cuddled with," explains Hegmann. In addition, the viewer would quickly perceive the animal as a substitute for a partner - that put off.
"Finding a partner is the greatest challenge"
"I know it sounds very 'big', but finding a partner is the biggest challenge in your life. Congratulations if that happens by chance. But it usually takes a lot of effort, which should then appear calm. It's easy different. So take all the options with you: from the singles party to the partner agency ", is the final advice of the singles expert.
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