Why is my mother accusing me

Overwhelmed with the situation (grandmother accuses me)


Even if it's family, you don't have to put up with everything ... from my point of view, an apology would be the least. She treated me like dirt with conviction and then nothing came back ... If you distrust me, let it stay.

That doesn't sound to me as if you were hoping for “advice” here, but rather expected that everyone will now “pat” you and show understanding, primarily for YOU.

You write that she explicitly accused you of being the "black sheep" of the family and breaking off contact with your father (i.e. your grandmother's son)? People make mistakes - you expect a solid apology from your grandma, but what about her and her feelings? Maybe she's hurt too and you never got anything from you?

Of course you don't have to put up with everything from your family, but I just think that you shouldn't "so easily" assume bad will if they weren't interested in you, then they wouldn't have contacted you several times.

You have to know for yourself how you behave and if you are such a "resentful" person that your supposed pride forbids you to forgive an old lady for her quirkiness without her kneeling in front of you and asking for an apology, then draw your conclusions and live with it. Nevertheless, I would just try to “switch sides” and look at the whole thing from their point of view, without seeing yourself as an explicitly chosen victim of the family.